Judgement

Everyone you meet is a mirror.

This ancient Chinese saying was first introduced to me by Eoin McCabe. Since then, I have applied the meaning behind these words to my everyday life. The mirror has helped me enormously to grow.

Eoin originally suggested the mirror concept after I'd mentioned how, from time to time I'd encountered a personality that really brought out a negative response from me. I explained that I didn't like wasting my time feeling uncomfortable about someone else's behaviour.

He explained that if I used the "mirror," I could turn the same experiences from emotionally judgmental dead ends into empowering learning processes. An unpleasant encounter can become wise, compassionate and empowered through your awareness. He was absolutely right.

The concept of the mirror is very simple.

When we have a strong reaction to people, friends or strangers, it's quite often a mirror, or a reflection of what we like or dislike about ourselves.

When we encounter someone whose behavior disturbs us, many times it's because this person reflects an unresolved problem with in us something that we may consider a personal fault, or something that we don't understand or wish we were better able to deal with.

Naturally the mirror can work in reverse.

You may meet someone you really like who is reflecting your assets, or characteristics that your proud of.

I strongly suggest that you exercise this concept in your daily life and see if you don't notice yourself in the mirror. You may find as I did, that you don't become nearly as angry as at your own reflection. And that your compassion and tolerance grows for yourself and others.

Judgment and blame are the real killers.

When we look at life as black and white, right or wrong, we approach people and situations looking for the good guys and the bad guys. In turn this means we are either defending ourselves or putting someone else on the defensive. Our minds are like intricate computers, collecting and processing information. We need to form opinions! It's human nature.

But judgment is more than an opinion and it's dangerously limiting. Judgment is like a locked box. Once we have judged someone or something we've essentially shut ourselves away from any further opportunity to learn or grow in that situation. I don't know anyone who enjoys begin judged harshly, or even slightly for that matter.

Judgment is focusing on the negative. Judging yourself too harshly can be crippling.

I find it's often easier to forgive others their trespasses than to forgive myself. Each time you or I make a judgment, take a moment to evaluate - why?

Just remember that we all need to make mistakes in order to grow. Pain is our teacher.

Forgive others and yourself for the need to make mistakes in order to learn.

It will give you peace in your heart and your soul.