Fear

Fear can be a death grip on our persona, especially when our fears keep us from changing.

It's so easy to become trapped in old familiar patterns. When we're used to the same miserable situations repeating themselves, there's really nothing to fear. In general, we're only afraid of the new. Facing what I've feared most, has been the most satisfying experience for me. I'm the first to admit that I avoided facing fears, for a longer time and with more cowardice than most.

However, now I know the extraordinary and rewarding results that confronting the problem can bring, so I'm compelled to stress the value of it.

The longer we avoid dealing with a problem, the greater the fear of it becomes.

Our imaginations end up distorting our perspectives and everything seems much worse than it actually is. Regardless of what it is: personal relationships, problems, or dilemmas over a need for a change in career, in life-style, or self.

When we're afraid of the possible consequences (the unknown results), we're letting fear be the master of our destiny.

If you don't look in the corner, you won't know what's crawling over there, right? And the longer you wait to see what it is, the stronger the fear of it becomes. Surrendering to our fears is giving fear the power over us. The minute we face the issue, we have some say in it. This immediately removes fear's power over us. It put us back in control.

I'm only too well versed in fear's dimensions and residual side effects. During one particular incident, fear took me on a journey that taught me a very valuable lesson. Fortunately, the experience ended happily for me. However, it still remains an explicable mystery to the respected doctor who handled my case. The doctor was left shaking her head in disbelief. The incident happened four years ago, my body was on fire, my skin was burning up. I was immediately sent to hospital to a specialist. After a thorough examination, the doctor informed me my body was under attack. That night when I got home, I meditated. After my meditation I began thinking about the day's events. It quickly became clear to me that I had avoided confrontation all my life. At any cost. I realised that I desperately needed to learn how to stand up for myself. As hard as I tried to avoid that experience in my life, I was suddenly forced to face it. My illness was very real. The cause was also very real to me.

However, the cure was letting go of my fear.

My cowardly indecision, to my journey inward or stay safe, was a very difficult period in my life. My more intuitive friends all agreed that I was avoiding a valuable source of information. They said look inside you, looking back and seeing the roots of my fears, could help me learn the truth about myself.

Finally, I had to gather my courage and lean on my faith because I knew in my heart that there were too many unanswered questions and too many situations that were repeating themselves. I needed to know why.

Generally speaking, my life was very nice, but I wanted to improve myself; I wanted to know why I was so reluctant to take complete charge of my own destiny, and reluctant to be strong and in control. And of course, why had I failed in my relationships.

What was my program for failure? I kept asking myself. I'd made countless excuses for not delving into my past before, primarily insisting that "I'm extremely happy, for the most part." Which was true. There just can't be anything from my childhood affecting my present - day life."

At first it even appeared as though I had successfully and permanently blocked out all of the painful events in my childhood. Actually, I had filed them away so deeply in the recesses of my mind, never paying conscious attention to them again, that I practically had to pry them out.